I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
