that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
