called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
