around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
