That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
