im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
