He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
