Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I cut my penus on the lid.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
