Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
