I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
