Barsexuality is the new black.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
