Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
