i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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