i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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