we made out on top of his cat.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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