the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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