so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
