Can Purell be used as lube?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
