that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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