I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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