I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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