he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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