Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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