I feel like I'm in dance class right now
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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