how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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