So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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