How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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