dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
