"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize