problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
