Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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