My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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