did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
