So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
