I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
