Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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