But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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