he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
