My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Text me some of your sweat
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
