I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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