I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
