Your tits are I can't wait for
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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