I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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