Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
