I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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