batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
