my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
