I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
