I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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