Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize