She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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