in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
