Say something about gay babies.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
