Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize