Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
