You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
