i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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