The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
