Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
