Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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