I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
